My Life As A Fifty Naira Note - Part Two

[Excerpt from Part 1: After he was done, he picked me up gingerly as if I had some contagious disease and went to dress up. Off we went looking for a beggar to bequeath me to and I cried silently at the slime I felt was crawling over my body.] To read part one CLICK HERE

At last he found his victim, a blind beggar sitting on a side of the street begging for alms. He dumped me brought me out and brought me close to his mouth as he whispered some few more of diabolical gibberish to me before dumping me into the beggar’s bowl. I stared daggers at his retreating figure and if looks could kill, he surely would have dropped dead that instant.

He however left unscathed leaving me with my ego badly bruised. I looked at my new abode and studied my new companions; a tattered ten naira note that looked like it had seen better days, a five naira note with oil stains all over it that you could barely make out the note again and three ancient coins that didn’t look like they had much value. Sighing in resignation, I tried to block out the song of the blind beggar that was my new owner as he droned on and on in his appeal for alms. I was beginning to doze off when I felt another note land on me and I cried out in mortification. “Watch it stupid!” It was a twenty naira note and half of its body lay across me in the tiny bowl that the beggar was using for his alms collection. It was bad enough that I had to share the space with the filthy five naira note, the old ten naira and the useless coins but at least then I had my own space.

“Look, what we have here, if it isn’t the clan of polymers. My apologies for resting on you your highness but sadly as I cannot move myself, you would have to endure my burden.” The twenty naira note’s mocking tone infuriated me further and I hissed to show my displeasure as I held my tongue. Unlike me the twenty naira note soon started a conversation with the other monies and soon had them cheered as they traded gossip of where they had been and what they had been through with their different owners. I longed to join in the conversation but held myself, after all I had more value than all of them put together and they should have had the grace to treat me with more respect.

The day wore on and we all lay there in the sun, listening to the beggar’s pitiful cry. Alas he broke off his cry for help as he heard the sound of a food vendor advertising food. He called out to the vendor and asked her if he had enough money in his bowl for her to sell him fifty naira worth of rice. She told him yes and sold out the food before plucking me out of the bowl. I smiled gleefully and said a quick prayer of thanks to the heavens for getting me out of a society that was beneath my class. My new owner, the food vendor looked at me in wonderment as she turned me here and there inspecting every part as if to confirm I was real. She smiled like a woman who had just seen her lover and I soaked in the attention happily. Now this is how to treat royalty like me. “I no go use this one for chaangi” I heard her say to herself in pidgin English and folding me gingerly, she tucked me into her bra. The foul smell of sweating skin mixed with soaked fabric assailed my nostril and I screamed silently in protest. This was like jumping from frying pan to fire. In the beggar’s bowl I at least had fresh air but being crushed between this food vendor’s breasts with her mammary glands pressing on me heavily I wished for the weight of the twenty naira note on me once again. I would happily suffer their company and bear the twenty naira note’s weight on me than this crushing weight that felt like a trailer was over me not to mention the nauseating smell.

To be continued

Keep updated, follow on Twitter and Instagram with @iamposhkid. You can also join other readers by subscribing to Akin's Corner BBM Channel for instant updates. Simply search for "Akin's Corner" or with pin: C00396EEB