A Widow's Letter to Her Husband

Dear Murray:
I haven’t been able to stop crying since I heard the news of your death Ray. I was in the kitchen making your special dish of semovita and vegetable soup when I heard of the fatal plane crash. I didn’t need to be told that you were gone from me, the flight number was the one you had sent me just a few hours before takeoff and immediately I saw that wreckage and billowing smoke of fire on the TV screen, I felt and emptiness in me and now I realize it must have been you departing from me leaving me hollow. The tears won’t stop coming because I feel like if I stop crying now, I would go totally numb and not feel anything again. The kids ask about daddy every day, waiting patiently for you to walk through that door, but how do I tell them that daddy is never coming back? Daddy is six feet under, or would you come back?

I am falling into pieces and the pieces are so tiny that nobody can actually help pick them up. It was you who held me from jumping off the ledge and now you had to go die sky high where I couldn’t reach you. Dearest Ray, did you have to go, I need to know? Tell me you just took a break and you are still coming back. You told me you would never leave me and you said it so sweetly that I believed you. I should have kept you with me, made you stay a bit longer but you needed to go and even though it killed me, I knew you would have been sad if you didn’t hit the road. The damn lawyers won’t quit bugging me about your estate but the money doesn’t matter, please just come back. I will give every dime of it to hold you tonight.

Just tell me where you are, I will be on my way, I can’t bear this thought of you so far away. Somebody misses you daily; somebody wishes you were here and that somebody is me. But I know deep down there is no coming back, I just have to hope there is an afterlife where we can reunite again. Wherever you are then I will find you, don’t go too far because I will be on my way soon but for now I have to try hold things together; guard the fort you left behind. So I will dry my tears and be strong for the children. Till we meet again, keep resting and keep those arms wide open.

Lovingly Yours
Your Lonely Half

P.S: Diaries of the Fabulous Bitches Series starts tomorrow Sunday 18/05/2014. Keep updated.

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My Mind Snaps

Does your mind ever snap because mine does and lately it is becoming often? When I talk about mind snapping I mean that period when you feel on top of the world, feeling cool and fly with yourself and you have no worries in the world. Simply put, your hyper period! You go all crazy and wild and do things that you would not normally do when you are in your real state. Sometimes it is usually triggered by something and other times it can just come over you and at that particular time you have no control over it.

When my mind snaps, I am usually more daring and brighter, during such a state of mind, my confidence level is running over a hundred percent and I can’t help but feel like I have the world beneath my feet. Some have conveniently explained it as your alter ego coming over you and have gone ahead to give their supposed alter egos different names. They believe it is not the real you but a part of you that rears its head once in a blue moon and exposes the wild side of you. When my mind snaps, there is no stopping me then, I am on a roll and the grind is usually fast paced. My creative juices are usually flowing in excess then and that controversial article I have been restraining myself from writing comes pouring out of me like a flowing fountain, that opinion about a societal issue that I have been refraining from commenting on sees the light of day. I have come to realize that my best is usually put forward when I am sinking in a abyss of depression or this mind snapping period where I am feeling all happy and go-getting blood is coursing through my veins. Don’t mistake the mind snapping state as an euphoric feeling because I know it is not.

I don’t know how to explain it but I know I have the most fun when my mind snaps. I call it my hyper mode or refer to it as my alter ego coming out. Now that is the wild side of my life. We have all had our crazy fun so don’t be so ashamed of your mind snapping state. A life without a bit of fun isn’t so cool, no stories of crazy adventures to tell the kids or be able to relate with them. Let yourself loose and free yourself, allow your mind to snap once in a while.


Coming Soon: Diaries of the Fabulous Bitches


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