The
big “L” as we all know has often been mistaken for a lot of other emotions such
as infatuation or lust. The feeling of being in love however goes beyond liking
someone or wanting to have sex with them. Not to confuse love for any other
emotion, here are seven signs to tell you if you are in love or have ever been
in love.
You are Addicted to this Person:
The first stage of love is usually the obsessive part when you can’t stop
thinking about them or get them out of your mind. It is like being in a state
of euphoria and even scientist agree that there is usually a change in the
brain. There is activity in the anterior cingulated which is the area of the brain linked
to obsessive thinking, which is a classic experience when people are falling in
love (Aron, Fisher, Mashek, Strong, & Brown, 2005). It is good to note that
as your relationship progresses however, you will less likely have more control
of your emotions and the obsessive thinking about them reduces.
Distances Makes Your Heart Grow Fonder: When you are in love
with somebody and they have to be apart from you for a reason, it is only
natural that you miss them and wish they were with you. Your level of
commitment to the relationship will determine how much you miss them. There is
the feeling of not being complete when your lover is not around and nothing makes you feel
as serene as when you and your partner are together.
You Grow as a Person: When you are in love with someone, you begin
to feel more confident with yourself, your sense of self grows and you also
pick up some new traits and characteristics from them. You either notice these
changes yourself or others around you can tell the difference because the things you care
about, your habits, how you spend your time or all of these is subject to the
influence of a new romantic partner.
You Have Thoughts of a Future Together: When you are thinking about your future and this person plays a dominant
role in it, then you are truly in love. You can’t imagine a life without your
loved one and as you make plans for the future, you always factor them into the
equation. When you start using words like ‘we’ and not “I,” be certain your
emotions are strong enough to be considered love.
You
Willing Compromise for Your Partner: One of the big signs
that you are in love is when you are willing to make compromises for your
partner. You make decisions that you know will make your partner happy even if it brings you
out of your comfort zone. Since your partner takes interest in a particular
thing, you are likely to pick interest in it as well but in making compromises
it is always important to remember that it is a two way thing and one shouldn’t
completely lose oneself.
You Get Jealous but
Trust your Partner: Having feelings of jealousy in a true love affair is not bad
for a relationship. People who are jealous tend to be more committed to relationships
(Rydell, McConnell, & Bringle, 2004). However don’t be possessive or
suspicious of your partner as this will breed distrust. When you are able to
have a healthy dose of jealous but still completely have faith in your partner,
then it’s true love.
You Want Your Friends
and Family to Like this Person: Family is very important to the average
Nigerian as most families are close knit. When you are in love with someone,
you badly want your parents to like them, you want them to get along with your
friends and basically have the approval of others in your life. Since you will be spending a lot of time
together, you are usually quick to raise good points in their favour in front
of your family or support them among other people you care about.
Originally written for KOKOFEED
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